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REVELATIONS, INSPIRATIONS AND UPDATES

MY PASSION

…is to share Gospel stories and use the arts to express God’s story. I am also passionate about people and helping them see God’s heart for them.

When I started my DTS ( Disciple Training School), one of my main goals was to become the person God created me to be. I wanted that so badly. I was tired of being stagnant, being fearful and letting people’s opinions of me run my life. I knew that if the Lord was going to use me in the nations, I needed to change. I had this desire but I didn’t know how I would get there.

It wasn’t until Identity week that I learned about the stronghold of Passivity. When I reflected on it, my life was full of passivity. I was a huge procrastinator, I never initiated conversation with anyone for fear that they would reject me, the list went on and on. One aspect of passivity that really shook me was not doing what the Lord instructs you to do. There were many times the Lord would speak to me but I would ignore Him almost always because of fear. I was too concerned about what others would think of me. James 4:17 says “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” I never really looked at it as sin until that day. I thought God would understand my fears. I was living in sin. This was serious. I made a conscience decision to repent and turn away from the sin of passivity. I went through the 4 R’s – Repent, Receive, Rebuke, Replace; I repented of my sin, received God’s forgiveness, rebuked Satan and his lies, and replaced them with the truth of God and His word.

After I repented, I thought I would be good, but that was far from the case. I needed to live out my freedom and walk in the opposite spirit. I needed to resist the spirit of passivity that would want me to just sit back and watch life pass me by. The general definition of passivity is “is allowing others to do things to you without complaining or pushing back”. I realized I had to start pushing back. I had to push back the spirit of fear that would feed me lies to not pray in class, to not volunteer to preach the gospel, to not initiate conversation with people, to not pray for someone. I had to push back the spirit of laziness and procrastination that would tell me I didn’t have time to read my Bible or pray. I had to push back every lie the enemy would tell me about who I was that didn’t align with how God saw me.

Through walking in the opposite spirit, I have found such freedom. I still have a long way to go, but God has given me the tools to overcome this stronghold and it’s up to me to make a decision to live it out daily. Because of this, every day I am getting closer to discovering who God created me to be. I know that when I do overcome passivity, with God’s help, it will catapult me to my destiny.

Freedom week is not just for a week. It is a lifetime commitment. Dying to self, resisting the enemy’s lies and believing the truth of God daily.

Until I came into a right relationship, a personal one with Jesus Christ, that I learned how to confront these issues. I realized that I was full of unforgiveness towards my biological father. I had never truly forgiven him for abandoning me… and therefore I wasn’t letting God truly move through me.

Once I gave my life situations to God… I saw that in him I’m his son. I saw that Jeremiah 29:11 applies even to me. I’m now living as a Son of Christ who knows his authority, I no longer walk in this self-pity, “woe is me” type stuff. I have released forgiveness to those who rejected me, and took God’s promises as truth and applied them to my life. I will keep sharing the power of Forgiveness because it’s the secret recipe for healing a broken heart.

I am no longer a fatherless, but a Son to the King of Kings.

MY VISION

…is to cultivate an atmosphere of prayer and worship in places that have never encountered such deep intimacy.

MY MISSION

…is currently here in Jordan, learning Arabic, and building up relationships with Syrian refugees. I am also focusing on intercession and worship here in the prayer room.

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